Essentially in the episode, Rachel's sister comes to NYC to tell Rachel that she is marrying an older man and Rachel rails at the notion because she feels like her sister is falling into the same trap she was with Barry at the onset of the show.
And in the conversation she has with her sister, it comes out that she has a married boyfriend that she has no intention of letting go.
And while the conversation in question in that particular scene draws laughs- as it is intended to- the sentiment has stayed with me.
And it has because, in the past few years (at least for me, personally), it seems that this is a prevailing trend.
And I don't get it.
I have watched a lot of episodes of Cheaters and The Real Housewives of ______ to know that this trend is one that is not just characteristic of a lesser demographic. Furthermore, I have seen the tabloid coverage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and have experienced first hand how the media handles indiscretion.
That said, infidelity is a very real and large part of modern marriage and a element that terrifies the hell out of me.
And as I attempt to navigate my thoughts on the subject, I have come to a few preliminary conclusions.
1- people cheat.
This is not news. However, it seems to be a more prevalent trend with males than with females. However, as I acknowledge that fact, it is still important to remember that males seem to be the more frequent offenders. Most studies I have looked at have acknowledged that men are twice as more likely to cheat than women.
2- cheating is more prevalent in individuals under the age of 30.
Research is indefinitive, but from what I know about every person I know that has been cheated on in their marriage in recent years, every instance has been in relationships where involved individuals were/are under the age of 30.
3- certain single women go after married men.
There are dating sites-- similar to Match.com (www.ashleymadison.com) -- that cater to infidelity. And these sites-- which offer connections to males seeking females, females seeking males, females seeking females and males seeking males-- report that 22% (an almost majority) of activity is amongst involved men seeking single women.
So, the long and the short of the research involved with infidelity suggests that there is a prevalent trend of single women are seeking unavailable men.
And again, I just don't get it.
Relationships are hard. And one could argue that when needs of any kind are not being met in a relationship, the urge to cheat becomes greater. And I get that. But, that is life. Nothing, on any level whatsoever, can be perfect and fulfilling 100% of the time. Marriage vows acknowledge this reality when they state, regardless of denomination, that "for richer or for poorer, for sickness and in health and in good in bad, till death do us part." The basic idea being, even when it's hard, it's a commitment.
That is the entire idea behind marriage.
Yet, somehow, some people find a way to legitimize seeking fulfillment outside of their marriage or relationship when eras of meagerness come about. And regardless of the human weakness that accompanies that motivation, I do not understand the segment of population that is OK with engaging in a relationship with an involved or married man or woman.
Ultimately, what I cannot understand is why in the hell would you even attempt to connect with a legally obligated individual who is in a lawfully binding union? Why you would choose to be, that girl," that openly chases a married man.
I have seen a lot of parodies of moments in popular culture that acknowledge this trend and am, each and every time, left wanting. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how a woman chooses to engage in any kind of more-than-platonic interaction with a man who is married OR INVOLVED. That is not a fad or a loosely applied idea; if a man is married, it is law and it is permanent. That means: OFF LIMITS.
However, a good portion of women feel ok engaging in the "unrecognized urges" of married men and dilute themselves into believing that these men are better off with them as a mistress than in a marriage with their spouse.
Essentially, some women are OK with being a dirty secret rather than a choice, and applaud themselves for aiding someone who seeks an enabler more than a companion.
Women have more than enough to rail against; why put yourself on the level of adulterous trash than go after what they want in sacrifice of what has been established by law and ceremonial commitment?
Families, children, hopes, dreams, plans... they all are dashed when stupid women, complacent with being the "other woman", come into the picture.
Long story short-- I am looking at YOU, hard pressed single mother who couldn't keep her legs together and got knocked up, who now attempts to ensnare another woman's husband to correct the wrongs or her indiscretion, and sleeps better at night because she found someone who, "loves her kid."
To you I say-- you are weak. You are not a hard fought example of perseverance and determination. You are a whore; almost as guilty as the prostitutes that make a living on the weathered streets in every city in this nation.
To be exact- a whore is someone who has sex for money; to me, your choice to have sex with a married mad to cement stability in you and your child's life is the same thing. And not only are you a whore, but you are also selfish, dumb and incomplete. You may be able to count what you have as a result of someone else's misery and loss, but at the end of the day, you are still a whore that got pregnant and found themself incapable of providing a life to an offspring that deserves better than your bullshit.
I am sorry if that is too harsh, but it's real and true. You are not a hero for finding a father for your child; you are a whore who found a way to steal someone else's husband to help you manage your life.
Bravo. Thanks for your contribution to the women's movement and the hard-fought battle too many deserving women have waged to earn respect.
Congratulations on getting your bills paid, home wrecker. Try to enjoy your "victory" now; it's ill-gotten and worth nothing in the long run. You haven't earned a shred of respect or perseverance; if anything, all you have earned is a badge of weakness and incompetence. SHAME ON YOU for enabling infidelity and dragging a child into it along YOUR way.
SHAME ON YOU for rationalizing your decisions to yourself and deciding that they are ok.
SHAME ON YOU for expecting nothing better of yourself than to be an adulterous whore; that's who you are. Face it now, even if you can make yourself feel better by whose husband you snagged.
And yes, if it wasn't obvious-- I hate you. I hate you for going after an involved man and I hate you for thinking your single parent-ship gives you the right. You were a whore then and you still are one now, regardless of whoever's husband you got to be with you. Enjoy your life with a man who has no problem moving on when he finds the grass greener; I GUARANTEE you that fate will befall you before too long.
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