Losing Friends...

I really thought it would take me much longer to draft a more somber post on this blog, but alas, here I am. Keep in mind, I recognize this is only post number two, but I DEFINITELY thought I'd make it to three or four before I focused on something more thought provoking. I digress.

Depending upon which day you ask me, how I feel about Facebook can be one of two very different answers. Some days I love it because it really is a great medium for making connections. Be it with wayward family members or lost friends from high school or college, it is a relatively non-threatening way to maintain relationships...and stalk other people who you more or less would not really care about having a real face-to-face friendship with (don't even lie, you do it too).

But then there are the days that I hate it. And today is one of those days. Facebook can very much be the adult version of the recess yard conversation on Monday about the party over the weekend you were not invited to. And it is a way for you to make no mistake that you are no longer the part of someone's life you once used to be. Not even close.

And I guess that's what I don't understand. On a logical level, I certainly do get how time and most certainly geography, can effect the status of a friendship. Additionally, I also know different life stages can also bear a significance in two people's relationship. If, for example, you went straight into the professional world and I planned a wedding and set-up a household, perhaps it is very easy to see how differences in schedules and priorities could effect how much time we spend with each other and our ability to relate to each other. Though I would like to believe I am capable of relating to someone even if I am not living their exact life, I am practical enough to know that these things do move and shape friendships.

But for me, there are some people in my life who I can go MONTHS without speaking with and I would consider them no less of a good friend or significant person in my life than those I commiserate with on a daily basis. And those friendships still have a place in my life because I recognize the differences in each of us and I cherish the opportunities we do have to spend time together because they are so precious. And that's OK. If that is all someone can give me, I am grateful for it.

But what I am learning as I grow up, however, is that when these disjunctures in geography and life phases do occur, it is very easy to pick out which people meant more to you than you did to them. Because of a stupid website, you get a front-row seat to the most pivotal and significant moments in a person's life and it hits you like a load of bricks that you are watching it from a laptop screen. That this person you could barely get through a day without seeing/talking to/thinking about is moving on with their life....and very certainly without you. And it is such a hollow feeling...because it feels like a waste. And the more cynical part of me would be inclined to think it was a bigger waste of time then than it is an emotional waste now, but I don't really believe that. I know without hesitation that every single person I have come across, friend or foe, has helped shape who I am and the journey I have made to get where I am now. And I think I am doing pretty damn good. But I guess it is just one of those unfortunate facts of life that some friendships aren't meant to be forever. And that they don't necessarily have to end because of a falling out or a betrayal or something else that makes sense; sometimes friendships just end. And that is just the way it is.

But I after getting all of these thoughts down and rereading them over and over, I have decided that I am not going to lament the past or the people who have drifted in and out of my life; I am, instead, going to focus on and enjoy the people who constantly make an effort to stay a part of it. Because I am blessed to have them. And I am going to pray for and wish well those who are no longer in my life....because without them, who knows where I'd be.