I generally do not make it a habit to watch crappy reality TV. Let me be clear-- there are a few reality television shows I watch that I do not consider to be crap. Top Chef, Intervention and Diner, Drive-Ins and Dives. I am not sure if you would consider those all reality television shows, but in the sense that they do not have a script and feature real things happening to real people, I think they qualify.
However, there is a segment of reality television that is an absolute load of crap. And the ring leader of that circus from hell is The freaking Bachelor. I remember when the first season came on TV 10 years ago and I was caught up, I will admit it. I was also 16 years old, had never been on a date let alone been in a relationship, and had every single one of those starry-eyed fantasies in my head about soul mates and fairy tales. I have since grown up, and while I don't have some bitter and jaded viewpoint on how love is a crapshoot and not worth my time, I am still in touch with reality, and The Bachelor is FAR from falling into that category. It is the definition of a shit show. It is no better than the Real World/Road Rules Inferno Gauntlet Tsunami Challenge's of yesteryear.
Surely you are asking yourself by now, why in the hell I decided to watch The Bachelor. Well, one of the contestants was in a student organization I was in in college, and I finally succumbed to morbid curiosity. She is, by FAR the classiest and most well-grounded contestant on that show. And I am not saying that because I know her. Hell, if I walked up and slapped her on the ass, she would most likely have no idea who I was (so long as I did not assault her in a Maggies' t-shirt). But she was then and still is a very beautiful and classy woman... even despite the Bachelor's efforts to futilely prove otherwise.
But I guess, essentially, here is the crux of what I do NOT understand about people who watch and individuals who tryout to be a contestant on one of those faux-dating shows: how can you possibly take it seriously? Certainly I am smart enough to know that some people do it for an unlikley opportunity at fame, but it is clear that some of those individuals truly do believe love is waiting for them amidst 24 other physically fit, perfectly tanned and over groomed vultures who are ready to their head up...but they saddle up anyway. I don't get it.
Save Trista and Ryan from the first season of The Bachelorette, every single one of the other Bachelors/Bachelorettes on record HAVE NOT FOUND A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS LASTED. And gee, I cannot imagine why in the hell not. Sure, it is normal to take 25 women to an exotic location, pump them full of alcohol, ignite and fuel as many conflicts as possible, and literally after a chick fight (verbal, physical or otherwise) worthy of a Jerry Springer episode, the bumbling and monolithic Bachelor ultimately picks the woman he wants to, at least for the foreseeable future when they are both getting paid by the network and soaking up their 15-minutes of fame, spend the rest of his life with.
IT IS SUCH CRAP.
That is not real life and not JUST because they are "dating" in Puerto Rico. It is not real life because compatibility and ultimate longevity takes experiencing REAL life and REAL life problems...a long side the googly-eyes and the butterflies. It is easy to let things roll off your back and be on your best behavior when you know you every move is being watched by millions. But when the cameras are packed up and moved to the next shit show Bachelor destination, you are left to really deal with one another when the champagne ISN'T a-flowing and someone ISN'T paying for your afternoon yacht cruise. And you cannot tell me that people don't continue to watch that show and believe the fairy tale; if people didn't, it wouldn't still be on the air, though the tactics ABC uses to make it as predictable as ever are more blatant than the season that preceded it.
And the thing that ultimately disgusts me the most is that there really do seem to be women, like my collegiate comrade, who are genuinely kind and internally beautiful individuals, but that show does NOT paint them in the best light. Heaven forbid you be the person ABC sees as the perfect villainess, because from that point on, they are going to make sure to put you in situations to come across that way even if it is NOT your personality. And they also choose to throw in the mix the crazy and arguably trashy girls just to stir up conflict. And these women fall into the stereotype traps every. single. time. And each year, the traps get larger and larger. And women come across trashier and trashier.
At the end of the day, though, I know why this show still exists; I teach mass media trends every single day. So on a logical level, I understand why ABC keeps coming to the table... I just wish I understood why everyone else does. For my money, I'd rather watch women try to find love at a monster truck rally.
Oh wait, I forgot about Rock of Love.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Facebook Purging
So, I am back to my usual sarcastic inquires. As much as I can always find something melancholy to lament on, I am reverting to the original purpose of this blog: making fun of incredibly inane prevailing trends.
To that end, I would like to discuss "facebook purges".
I am the absolute first person willing to acknowledge the unlikely power of facebook. And now that I have seen "The Social Network", I am more inclined to believe that even Mark Zuckerberg himself is taken aback by the influence his website- developed out of spite more than anything- has had on culture and the digital landscape as a whole.
However, at the end of the day, it is still a website where you amass "friends" that are, more often than not, nothing more than acquaintances, that you intentionally represent that best version of yourself and your life to. You know what I am talking about. Unfortunate pictures are hastily untagged and check-ins and status updates attempt to point out all of the amazing and gratuitous moments of your existence.
"Just met Dirk Nowitski at Chipotle" you taunt to your "friends" so they can envy your fabulousness and apparent access to the rich and famous. If we are all honest with ourselves- which I attempt to be as much as possible- it is a digital pissing match of who has the better life/boyfriend/body etc. than others within your network.
And in a brief aside- I want to make sure to point out that I do recognize that legitimate businesses, interest groups, and non-profit organizations utilize facebook to further their movements and messages, and for good reason. When you have immediate access to over 250 million people, you would be a fool NOT to participate. Yet, I digress.
In the last month or so, I have noticed a growing trend in facebook users who feel the need to not only advertise, but actually set-about a grandiose "facebook purge" of their friend list. They publish a status that warns their "friends" that they are going through their contacts and deleting individuals with whom they do not ultimately find a profoundly significant connection with. They warn, either by directly stating or by clever suggestion, that they simply find themselves in need of some digital housecleaning and set about removing users from access to their personal page. Some perpetrators even state, "you'll see where you stand!' while they are in the process.
Well, I don't get it. Beyond that, I think it is an incredibly narcissistic load of crap. UNLESS YOU ARE KATE MIDDLETON, and your association to anyone unsavory could really be an issue of national security or otherwise, whatever random drunk dude you met at a party in college that friended you that night that you have never spoken with since, is not someone you need to go out of your way to disassociate with. I have too many people on my friend list that fall in that category. Moreover, friends from high school and college that got married and changed their facebook to reflect their new last time, frequently throw me for a loop because I am used to the previous moniker. Regardless, it is not a big deal. These people are not all invited to my house for a dinner party, and are not by sheer value of being designated my "friend" on facebook, taking up any physical space in my life. They are digital associations. Nothing more, nothing less.
So, I am constantly dismayed by people who feel the need to edit their digital contacts like they are cleaning out their sock drawer. You are not being charged per friend to be a member of facebook, nor is your life REALLY interrupted by someone who you don't really know posting a status about their recently completed marathon. You are NOT cool because you have 1500 friends and decide that you want to scale back to only those that you "know". And if you are the person that has 1500 friends that you do know and just want to scale back to the people you deem worthy, then you're an asshole. The entire POINT of facebook is to forge "connections" with people on, about, or around your life that have similar associations with you. Because at some point in time in the future, you may find yourself looking for a job or a pet groomer or a freaking couch because yours got pissed on by your puppy, and that random dude you met at a party one night might have a connection to a job/pet spa/furniture store that you really need. But joke is on you; you decided to go through and delete a thousand people on facebook, and as a result, now have no income, an unfortunately hairy dog and a pissy smelling couch and very little ideas as to how to improve your situation.
So, way to go, to-cool-for-school facebook user who cannot be bothered with too many "friends"; i'll take my free leads- and random, hard-to-remember-friends, every time I get them. And you can just be cool with everyone you really "know".
To that end, I would like to discuss "facebook purges".
I am the absolute first person willing to acknowledge the unlikely power of facebook. And now that I have seen "The Social Network", I am more inclined to believe that even Mark Zuckerberg himself is taken aback by the influence his website- developed out of spite more than anything- has had on culture and the digital landscape as a whole.
However, at the end of the day, it is still a website where you amass "friends" that are, more often than not, nothing more than acquaintances, that you intentionally represent that best version of yourself and your life to. You know what I am talking about. Unfortunate pictures are hastily untagged and check-ins and status updates attempt to point out all of the amazing and gratuitous moments of your existence.
"Just met Dirk Nowitski at Chipotle" you taunt to your "friends" so they can envy your fabulousness and apparent access to the rich and famous. If we are all honest with ourselves- which I attempt to be as much as possible- it is a digital pissing match of who has the better life/boyfriend/body etc. than others within your network.
And in a brief aside- I want to make sure to point out that I do recognize that legitimate businesses, interest groups, and non-profit organizations utilize facebook to further their movements and messages, and for good reason. When you have immediate access to over 250 million people, you would be a fool NOT to participate. Yet, I digress.
In the last month or so, I have noticed a growing trend in facebook users who feel the need to not only advertise, but actually set-about a grandiose "facebook purge" of their friend list. They publish a status that warns their "friends" that they are going through their contacts and deleting individuals with whom they do not ultimately find a profoundly significant connection with. They warn, either by directly stating or by clever suggestion, that they simply find themselves in need of some digital housecleaning and set about removing users from access to their personal page. Some perpetrators even state, "you'll see where you stand!' while they are in the process.
Well, I don't get it. Beyond that, I think it is an incredibly narcissistic load of crap. UNLESS YOU ARE KATE MIDDLETON, and your association to anyone unsavory could really be an issue of national security or otherwise, whatever random drunk dude you met at a party in college that friended you that night that you have never spoken with since, is not someone you need to go out of your way to disassociate with. I have too many people on my friend list that fall in that category. Moreover, friends from high school and college that got married and changed their facebook to reflect their new last time, frequently throw me for a loop because I am used to the previous moniker. Regardless, it is not a big deal. These people are not all invited to my house for a dinner party, and are not by sheer value of being designated my "friend" on facebook, taking up any physical space in my life. They are digital associations. Nothing more, nothing less.
So, I am constantly dismayed by people who feel the need to edit their digital contacts like they are cleaning out their sock drawer. You are not being charged per friend to be a member of facebook, nor is your life REALLY interrupted by someone who you don't really know posting a status about their recently completed marathon. You are NOT cool because you have 1500 friends and decide that you want to scale back to only those that you "know". And if you are the person that has 1500 friends that you do know and just want to scale back to the people you deem worthy, then you're an asshole. The entire POINT of facebook is to forge "connections" with people on, about, or around your life that have similar associations with you. Because at some point in time in the future, you may find yourself looking for a job or a pet groomer or a freaking couch because yours got pissed on by your puppy, and that random dude you met at a party one night might have a connection to a job/pet spa/furniture store that you really need. But joke is on you; you decided to go through and delete a thousand people on facebook, and as a result, now have no income, an unfortunately hairy dog and a pissy smelling couch and very little ideas as to how to improve your situation.
So, way to go, to-cool-for-school facebook user who cannot be bothered with too many "friends"; i'll take my free leads- and random, hard-to-remember-friends, every time I get them. And you can just be cool with everyone you really "know".
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Losing Friends...
I really thought it would take me much longer to draft a more somber post on this blog, but alas, here I am. Keep in mind, I recognize this is only post number two, but I DEFINITELY thought I'd make it to three or four before I focused on something more thought provoking. I digress.
Depending upon which day you ask me, how I feel about Facebook can be one of two very different answers. Some days I love it because it really is a great medium for making connections. Be it with wayward family members or lost friends from high school or college, it is a relatively non-threatening way to maintain relationships...and stalk other people who you more or less would not really care about having a real face-to-face friendship with (don't even lie, you do it too).
But then there are the days that I hate it. And today is one of those days. Facebook can very much be the adult version of the recess yard conversation on Monday about the party over the weekend you were not invited to. And it is a way for you to make no mistake that you are no longer the part of someone's life you once used to be. Not even close.
And I guess that's what I don't understand. On a logical level, I certainly do get how time and most certainly geography, can effect the status of a friendship. Additionally, I also know different life stages can also bear a significance in two people's relationship. If, for example, you went straight into the professional world and I planned a wedding and set-up a household, perhaps it is very easy to see how differences in schedules and priorities could effect how much time we spend with each other and our ability to relate to each other. Though I would like to believe I am capable of relating to someone even if I am not living their exact life, I am practical enough to know that these things do move and shape friendships.
But for me, there are some people in my life who I can go MONTHS without speaking with and I would consider them no less of a good friend or significant person in my life than those I commiserate with on a daily basis. And those friendships still have a place in my life because I recognize the differences in each of us and I cherish the opportunities we do have to spend time together because they are so precious. And that's OK. If that is all someone can give me, I am grateful for it.
But what I am learning as I grow up, however, is that when these disjunctures in geography and life phases do occur, it is very easy to pick out which people meant more to you than you did to them. Because of a stupid website, you get a front-row seat to the most pivotal and significant moments in a person's life and it hits you like a load of bricks that you are watching it from a laptop screen. That this person you could barely get through a day without seeing/talking to/thinking about is moving on with their life....and very certainly without you. And it is such a hollow feeling...because it feels like a waste. And the more cynical part of me would be inclined to think it was a bigger waste of time then than it is an emotional waste now, but I don't really believe that. I know without hesitation that every single person I have come across, friend or foe, has helped shape who I am and the journey I have made to get where I am now. And I think I am doing pretty damn good. But I guess it is just one of those unfortunate facts of life that some friendships aren't meant to be forever. And that they don't necessarily have to end because of a falling out or a betrayal or something else that makes sense; sometimes friendships just end. And that is just the way it is.
But I after getting all of these thoughts down and rereading them over and over, I have decided that I am not going to lament the past or the people who have drifted in and out of my life; I am, instead, going to focus on and enjoy the people who constantly make an effort to stay a part of it. Because I am blessed to have them. And I am going to pray for and wish well those who are no longer in my life....because without them, who knows where I'd be.
Depending upon which day you ask me, how I feel about Facebook can be one of two very different answers. Some days I love it because it really is a great medium for making connections. Be it with wayward family members or lost friends from high school or college, it is a relatively non-threatening way to maintain relationships...and stalk other people who you more or less would not really care about having a real face-to-face friendship with (don't even lie, you do it too).
But then there are the days that I hate it. And today is one of those days. Facebook can very much be the adult version of the recess yard conversation on Monday about the party over the weekend you were not invited to. And it is a way for you to make no mistake that you are no longer the part of someone's life you once used to be. Not even close.
And I guess that's what I don't understand. On a logical level, I certainly do get how time and most certainly geography, can effect the status of a friendship. Additionally, I also know different life stages can also bear a significance in two people's relationship. If, for example, you went straight into the professional world and I planned a wedding and set-up a household, perhaps it is very easy to see how differences in schedules and priorities could effect how much time we spend with each other and our ability to relate to each other. Though I would like to believe I am capable of relating to someone even if I am not living their exact life, I am practical enough to know that these things do move and shape friendships.
But for me, there are some people in my life who I can go MONTHS without speaking with and I would consider them no less of a good friend or significant person in my life than those I commiserate with on a daily basis. And those friendships still have a place in my life because I recognize the differences in each of us and I cherish the opportunities we do have to spend time together because they are so precious. And that's OK. If that is all someone can give me, I am grateful for it.
But what I am learning as I grow up, however, is that when these disjunctures in geography and life phases do occur, it is very easy to pick out which people meant more to you than you did to them. Because of a stupid website, you get a front-row seat to the most pivotal and significant moments in a person's life and it hits you like a load of bricks that you are watching it from a laptop screen. That this person you could barely get through a day without seeing/talking to/thinking about is moving on with their life....and very certainly without you. And it is such a hollow feeling...because it feels like a waste. And the more cynical part of me would be inclined to think it was a bigger waste of time then than it is an emotional waste now, but I don't really believe that. I know without hesitation that every single person I have come across, friend or foe, has helped shape who I am and the journey I have made to get where I am now. And I think I am doing pretty damn good. But I guess it is just one of those unfortunate facts of life that some friendships aren't meant to be forever. And that they don't necessarily have to end because of a falling out or a betrayal or something else that makes sense; sometimes friendships just end. And that is just the way it is.
But I after getting all of these thoughts down and rereading them over and over, I have decided that I am not going to lament the past or the people who have drifted in and out of my life; I am, instead, going to focus on and enjoy the people who constantly make an effort to stay a part of it. Because I am blessed to have them. And I am going to pray for and wish well those who are no longer in my life....because without them, who knows where I'd be.
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