relationships are hard.
in fact, they are damn near crippling.
determining you care enough about a person to establish a life with them- regardless of whether or not it is within a living situation or not- is a difficult thing to navigate.
questions abound; is this right? am i wasting my time? is this the right person? do i want this forever? can we build a family? the list goes on and on...
individuals in committed relationships are plagued by these kinds of questions regularly. and it is not easy to find answers. more often than not, these questions draw answers that only half deal with the question in the first place.
simply put: relationships are hard enough.
so, i guess my point for the evening is this: individuals (man or woman-- they are all equal offenders) outside of committed relationships that may have a past physical or emotional history with a person need to STOP going after people that are involved.
to be specific: do not-- for pleasure, pain or validation-- reach out to a person from the past and plant things in their head that to you, ultimately mean nothing; but to them, mean too much.
at any given point in the past, certain individuals make choices; they choose to be involved or not; they choose to make a move or not; they choose to walk away or not.
whichever description suits you, know that your halfhearted, secondary advances are unwanted.
all they do is confuse and constrain people in the mix that have real feelings, emotions and situations at stake when, at best, all you are trying to do is assuage loneliness, inadequacy and void.
the steps you took years ago when everyone involved was available carry weight; those who weren't good enough for you then have not magically become so now...what has changed is your willingness to be alone or invalidated.
get over yourself. don't drag people who are fighting the good fight down in your insecurity; find what ails you and fix it. don't attempt to bandage your heartache by foolishly playing on the emotions of others from your past.
when you have made a decision and the repercussions sting, why should others have to pay a price for your indecision or lack of judgement?
leave well enough alone and realize that your situation is of your own making and stop preying on others emotions to bring you satisfaction.
what you don't know is that such behavior has far reaching consequences for people far removed from yourself...
people move on and move up. i am not willing to sacrifice what i know and love for some fleeting idea you have about what might have been.
because it isn't. and it never will be. you had your chance. if you really want a shot at another, make real sacrifices and real attempts at the future and see where you end up.
in the mean time, leave me alone. you didn't want me then, you don't want me now. you are waiting for the next best showing, and i'm sure it's probably closer than you think... and it certainly isn't me...
